Feminists, behavioral therapists, and a good handful of my closest girl friends would have a field day with the idea of letting failed relationships with men define your life. Even as I type this I can feel the vacuum of air escaping the room, as if all of these strong, confident women just took one big collective gasp. As much as I hate to admit it myself, it's true. The woman I am today has been shaped and formed by all of the men who have loved and left. But as sad and pathetic as this story may sound, it's actually a tale of strength, confidence, and triumph. After being knocked down so many times, hopeless and heartbroken, the story of getting back on the horse with an even better sense of self, restored hope, and a renewed determination to find true love...well, that's a story to be proud of.
In May 2008, just days before I graduated NYU and moved out of my Tribeca dorm, I sat in my bedroom with my best friend and roommate and made "the list". The list of boys I kissed. The list of boys I...dot dot dotted. My roommate made hers too and together we laughed at all of the hits and misses from over the years. It was an excersize in maturity. Here we were, responsibly tracking our progress, monitoring our mistakes, and vowing to improve for the future. Now, as I type this, I can thankfully say that "the list" hasn't really grown over the last few years. I'm a relationship girl. I've never kissed anyone that I didn't hope would turn into prince charming. (But, in keeping with the metaphor, most of them remained frogs.)
In its most up to date form, the list is practically an outline of my life--each boy a chapter in the making of Dana. Here, in a slightly edited form and with names changed to protect privacy, is the outline of Dana's Dating Disasters:
Chapter I: Aaron the Arsonist. I mean ARTist. No, I mean Arsonist.
Chapter II: Kevin the High School Heartbreaker (okay, and also the Third Year In College Heartbreaker)
Chapter III: Joshua the Questionably Gay "Best Friend"
Chapter IV: Stetson the All-American Asshole and Abercrombie & Fitch Model
Chapter V: Andrew the Triathlete in Training and Cheating Champion
Chapter VI: Aidan the Bachelor Barrister
But, more on them later.
If you're thinking of making a kissing list, I suggest starting with this one by Anastasia Beverly Hills. Stroll down memory lane in a succession of 6 "hydrafull", paraben-free shades from Anastasia's Kisses On My List collection. Jot down the names of your ex boyfriends first, then pepper the list with your mystery makeouts, your "dot dot dots", and friends with benefits. Then kiss each of those suckers goodbye because prince charming is out there and waiting.
xoxo,
Pretty
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